Working with My Passion: First Week

This past week has been amazing! I love my new job! Thanks to my new occupation, a couple other aspects of my life started falling into place. I'm sleeping like a log and now I can feel refreshed after fewer hours than normal and I can eat less often without a whole lot of anxiety building up. Thanks to my new position in the work force, I finally know what it feels like to not only love your job but also to be rewarded for working the job I'm passionate about. I never knew that by fulfilling my passion for working with children that I would also feel more complete with my other needs. Now less food and sleep feels like more. It's an amazing transformation for me.

The other awesome thing I've noticed is that while at work, I am so present that I cannot get stressed out. I have no thoughts running through my head which means I've made room for what should be there: my 100% attention and focus, and the words that need to be said. The only thoughts on my mind when I start talking are the exact words I need to use, that is all there is. It's a great feeling to be able to do this at long last. Every once in a while, I slip up a little, but for most of the day, this is my state of mind and I believe it has a whole lot to do with the job lining up with my passion as well as the help I got from the trail.

These feelings have almost nothing to do with how smoothly things went this week. The day after Halloween, there were at least 5 different bathroom related accidents (numbers one and two) and we had to change their clothes. On another day, there was so much Lysol in the air, I could taste it thanks to a ringworm scare; it turned out that the big red spot on this one kid's forehead was just from repeatedly rubbing it on his cot during nap time. There were a couple instances where I thought I might go deaf thanks to lifting a screaming child and times when they just don't listen. But for the most part, many of them do listen to me and I still look back on this past week with great fondness, contentment and gratification.

New Job Found!

I got a job at a Montessori school in Silver Spring. I was hired yesterday and start on Monday! The days will be long but they start later than I expected. Going to be working with toddlers and will eventually get benefits after a 90 day training period! I'm super excited! Some of this may not sound like much, but I've never had a job with all of these good features. I'm finally going to be able to save up some money again!

Tightening Loose Ends

As I've promised I'm posting to help justify and further prove my initial argument in the previous post.

The reason I believe calling all immigrants terrorists is wrong and unjustifiable is because, by pointing the finger at them we're constantly, and conveniently, ignoring the fact that white Americans prove themselves to be terrorists more often than the people we're blaming. Creating a scapegoat out of other citizens and "solving" the problem by deporting them does not eliminate the violence among Americans. We've had numerous shootings in various schools across the country and even in a theater and we can't blame Muslims or Mexicans for them. Every woman across the nation has experienced some form of misogyny whether verbal or physical and many of us have suffered from all forms. I'm only 24 and I've experienced all forms of abuse, emotional, physical and sexual. And guess what, it was all from white Americans so again, why are we blaming Mexicans?

Concerns

I haven't made a post in numerous days because I didn't have anything useful on my mind; just constant stress. Some of it being that I still have not made a deposit of any amount into the bank. But most of it is about how afraid I'm becoming of the people in this country.

If this turns out the way I dread, I fear there will be an all out war within our nation, caused by our people as well as foreign nations. We could potentially become the targets of bombings ourselves if we direct so much loathing at all the other people in this world. If we show them that hatred, they'll be inclined to defend themselves against us by being the first to strike out. They will prove our fears right if we never give them a chance to prove us wrong. If all we feed them is that they're terrible people who bring drugs, crime and terrorism into this country, they will return the loathsome feelings and lash out; they'll say, "I guess you're right, we're a disaster to America, and we're going to prove it to you". If we don't eradicate the hate talk, we're going to make the nearly unmanageable completely unmanageable. We should remain a beacon of hope to the world, not one of absolute uncontrollable fears. We're a powerful nation right now, but if we make all future decisions based on how much we fear those in our own country, documented or not, we'll lose all of our power. And if we act on those fears that lay outside this country and constantly go on to attack what's out there, literally and/or figuratively, we'll never have enough energy or resources to defend what's here.

The other major fear is that all of the sexual predators out there who currently have a partial conscience right now, if they see a President Trump, they'll start feeling like it's acceptable behavior because America just voted for someone who at the very least speaks the way they think. Even if, for the sake of argument, Trump never did those things that he mentioned on the recording, he did verbally prove to sex offenders/predators that he at least thinks the way they do. If he becomes president, the part of them that told them it's wrong will have no hold on them anymore and they're highly likely to up the ante; they won't hold back anymore. That is my biggest fear because I have, as mentioned quite a while ago, been sexually assaulted and I want their conscience to loom over them. I've also had a man on a bus talk loudly enough for each passenger and the driver to hear him and say, in much cruder language, that I must not be getting enough due to such and such. I didn't even turn around to face him because I wanted to be able to pretend that no one on that bus knew who he was talking about. If this carries on in a bigger way against all women, I'm going to be constantly on edge. Please don't dismiss this as an over-reaction.

If this problem included men in such a way where men were groped and kissed randomly by other men and then had all of society tell them they asked for it given how they dressed or that "boys will be boys" bullshit cliche, more men would be able to stand by our side and say, "yes, this is a huge emotional problem that needs to be addressed". And it needs to be addressed better than when Trump essentially said: well, at least I'm not ISIS, when confronted with the hot-mic issue in the second debate. I said essentially.

Please do us a favor, America, and help those women who have suffered abuse at the hands of men keep those occurrences behind them because right now these instances are being constantly replayed in our heads. I've forgiven those who have done me wrong in the past but that does not mean that I should then hand those people a metaphorical  "get out of jail free card" by electing Trump. (The jail being their conscience.)
It could be and should be these predators vs. the rest of America.

The Etymology of Passion

I found out shortly before the trail that the word passion is, in some manner of speaking, related to the word pain, more specifically it stems from the Latin word "pati" or "passio" meaning "to suffer". I had been surprised to learn this but looked it up after the trail to make sure I remembered right. So my passion for working with kids really means that every moment that I'm not pursuing this goal or not fulfilling this role, I suffer. It's been just over a year since I last worked, in any capacity, with kids and it's starting to drive me crazy. Maybe it seems a bit odd, but I truly feel that this is the role I'm meant to play in life, to be the voice for children struggling to fit in, who believe they don't belong. When I end up in the career I'm meant for, whatever it might be, my main goal will be to make sure children treat each other right, to make sure they consider what other people are struggling with before judging them. Even where there's a clear reason for judgment, there is also a chance to gain a deeper understanding instead. You never know someone's whole life story unless they're willing to be vulnerable enough to speak or write about it. That's not to say we should encourage pity, just understanding, acceptance and a willingness to listen. The passion I have for helping comes from the pain of exclusion. My passion stems from my pain allowing me to identify what my calling is. I have a hunch I could have used "our" and "us" in that statement but I didn't want to be overly presumptuous.

What IS the Meaning of Life?

While on the trail, I was once asked by a fellow hiker what I think the meaning of life might be and although I don't think I articulated my thoughts all that well at the time, the rest of my train of thought finally came to me as I got closer to finishing the trail. I had been asked this in New Jersey and the answer started firming up in my mind in Connecticut when I ran into Baby Chicken, Optimistic Dreamer and Gung-ho at a shelter. For whatever reason, a conversation started that afternoon that lead to me to share my history and I started realizing yet again that my desire to help children stems from my own experiences...I want to be able to help others through some of the same things I went through. To me, the meaning of life is about giving meaning to your suffering by turning around and helping other people reach the light at the end of the tunnel or at least showing them that there is a light to go toward. We give our lives meaning by doing so and that's empowering. This is my goal in life and I've taken a 2,189 mile scenic detour already, so hopefully the next chapter will lead me directly there. Hah.

Job Search Continues

Despite my resume upgrade, I recently edited it and added my latest adventure, I haven't found work yet. I would love to find a live in nanny or au pair situation because that takes care of both housing and income. That being said, I did some networking this evening and sent my resume to someone who might be able to find something that suits me well and I am going to visit Montgomery College tomorrow to continue the efforts in other ways; I can't keep sitting in front of a computer screen. I'm looking forward to earning some dough. I need to rebuild my savings account.

Now That I'm Back

Going from hiking, to a week long road trip home with my mom, to job searches: it's been a crazy ride to say the least. I'm not sure where to go from here. I had attempted to line up an Americorps opportunity but I'm not sure that my references will follow through. One of them will definitely be willing and able but the other, I'm not sure because that person was put down because he happened to be the only other person that would work. I had his information, he was my boss at a business that had an address, and the other option would have been the person who hired me as a counselor last summer; she never witnessed me working as she was in her office, so I didn't think it would be of much help. I'm not sure if that door is still open even if I pressure them. It's disappointing to say the least, but maybe next time.

Right now, I'm looking into working in MCPS in some capacity either as a volunteer for before and after school programs or, hopefully this will be the end result, as a para-educator. Just because I didn't get an Education degree doesn't mean I won't pursue this goal anyway. I have a new fire that was billowed into me by the trail; I won't give up just because things get hard and as long as I'm moving forward, I'm doing alright; even if I'm only crawling. On the trail, I heard someone say something like that. She had said that she would tell herself that she could cry, she could whine as long as she kept walking and that resonated with me because I was thinking something like that myself.

My thought had been that all of the reasons I might have had to leave the trail were really the reasons to stay. I had asked for all of it, the pain and the misery, by saying I want to hike the trail. This had been my conscious choice because I knew I needed some sort of colossal struggle in order to grow; I needed an adversary and I chose the trail. And of course the trail was more like a friend who teaches you how to take a punch; so I'd take it in the teeth sometimes and say, "Well, this is what you wanted. You can't turn back now, this was the whole point!" I also knew from experience that I had to tough out the hard times so that I can enjoy the exhilarating, euphoric ones later; if I left prematurely, I'd miss out on all the beauty, the kinship and the fun times.

On the trail, I got interviewed by a couple of young women who were working on making a documentary on women hiking the Appalachian Trail and thanks to the way they set it up, I felt pretty comfortable in front of the camera. They had made it so I could focus on the hiker who had offered to facilitate the interview. I was looking at her while the camera was off to the side a bit. After the interview, which was centered on things like, what did I do before the trail, what motivated me to start this journey etc, the hiker posing the questions called me a bad ass and that was probably my happiest moment on the trail at that point. People say you don't need other people's acceptance, but if you were living your life in a place like India as an untouchable, you'd know better. I'm not trying to compare my life experience to that, but I've been ostracized by my peers from time to time and it hurts. It hurts doubly when you've gone through foster care in your early childhood.

So this moment when someone had done the exact opposite, when they had respected my struggles for what they were, I little light flickered inside. I was starting to feel a bit of pride for what I'd already done with my life. Something I was unable to do before. Someone else had said this farther down the line. The camaraderie of the trail raised the image I had of myself. It took completing the trail to feel pride for my own accomplishments, it took doing the trail for me to stand all the way up off the mat. I had felt as though each blow in my life came to me while I was already on the ground because I didn't have the courage to stand up. And that is why none of the hardships were able to drive me off the trail; I had to learn to love and accept myself with all my shortcomings knowing that my perseverance can help me prevail if I learn to move forward with confidence no matter how the chips may fall; I needed help growing up but I needed it particularly from the Appalachian Trail. And thank goodness it fell into my lap the way it did.

Trials of the Trail: Part 7

Just Maine is left!!! On the 19 of August, I am finally able to meet up with my former coach. I hike 10 miles from 7:00 to 3:30. This is the day of the Mahoosucs. There is a mile-long rock jungle-gym called the Mahoosuc Notch that traditionally takes hikers at least one whole hour...however, when wet it can take up to 3 hours. Luckily for me, this challenge was taken on on a dry day and I had two fellow through-hikers with me, Head-shot and Chaco...yes he wore Chacos all the way through the trail but I heard he wasn't the only one. After this scramble, there is something called the Mahoosuc Arm, a steep 1.5 mile climb up more sheer rock. Thanks to their help, I safely get through with relative ease. It's said to be the most dangerous or the most fun part of the trail. Although it was challenging, it was much more straight forward than other previous sections. I handed my pack to them on at least 3 separate occasions in order to either prevent my pack from changing my intended trajectory or to fit through a tight space between the rocks.

When I meet my former coach at a parking lot on the 19th by the next road, we have a great reunion and I eat a tremendous amount of food and drink a Gatorade and a couple sodas. And thanks to his grand generosity, he was willing to help me slack-pack 3 more days. I do two 10 mile days, then a zero thanks to a pretty bad cold that at one point consisted of tremendous sinus pressure, and then a 13 or 14 mile day to the Height of Land. The day after reaching the Height of Land, I get dropped off around 11:30 intending to do some single digit day either 4 or 9 miles. But once I got to the campsite that was 9 miles in, I decided I had plenty of time to do 6 more since the terrain was finally incredibly easy so I hiked to Piazza Shelter.

The next day I put the entirety of the Saddlebacks behind me with a 17 mile day. The weather was beautiful and I had taken my time; I wasn't even sure how far I'd go and I knew it didn't matter. Just after reaching the shelter at the end of the day and just after having refilled my water bottles, it started to rain. I felt pretty lucky at that point that I was dry and warm, making my dinner. Two days later, on the 26th of August, I cross the 2,000 mile mark and complete a 13.5 mile day into Stratton! From here, there is the tiny town of Caratunk, then Monson, followed by the 100 mile Wilderness and Katahdin. It took me 5 days to get to Monson where I enjoyed my last zero day! At the shelter just before Caratunk, my friends Ranger, Pirate and I signed ourselves up for a breakfast at Harrison's. He made a hearty breakfast of fruity flapjacks, eggs, sausage and coffee for through-hikers. After eating 14 flapjacks each and finishing every last scrap (hiker hunger is real!), we leave the place fairly late enjoying the company of Harrison and his tiny toy-poodle puppy, Charlie. Ranger teaches me how to play Cribbage and I teach her how to play Rummy.

Ranger and I both pick up a package in Caratunk when the post office finally opens at 2 and then we do the last 6 miles of our 10 mile day. Luckily, the terrain here was a breeze compared to so many other parts of Maine. The day we hike into Monson, I get stung by a couple ground bees. Thankfully, Ranger had some Benadryl and I took a couple. Ironically, from here on out, I went faster and faster while she started feeling more and more tired. We had had a pretty big day of 19 miles just prior to this and now only had 12 more.

Ranger, Pirate and I stay at Shaws the nights of the 31st and 1st. This is another good place for a through-hiker to get a heaping breakfast! The three of us decide to split the price of a food drop and I organize when and where it's to take place. Our first night into the 100 mile Wilderness... my tent poles break...I haven't even been using my tent most of the time! I figure out an alternative set up using just the fly and the stakes. With my ground cloth underneath and the fly over me, I try to fall asleep. Surprisingly, the temperature drops alarmingly low, probably down to 40 degrees. I get up to pee 4 times and each time it's an absolute emergency. When I get up in the morning, I put all my layers on and my friends ask me how I slept and I honestly can't tell if I had.

The following day, Ranger and I do about 12 miles because I'm too tired to carry on and she didn't feel much like finishing the Chairbacks either. This means that the following day we needed to do close to 20 and the last 10 were going to be tough, 4 fairly steep peaks to go over. (Our food drop was going to come on the morning of our 4th day.) Toward the beginning of our trek on the third day, I slip and fall into a river we're trying to ford getting both my pack and my "waterproof" boots wet. Waterproof in this case really just means they take longer to dry when they do get wet. We weren't even crossing in the right place. Luckily, I pull my sleeping bag out soon enough and am able to wrap it in my ground cloth to keep my wet pack from getting my sleeping bag wet. Later in the day, I pull it out again to check on it and to dry the ground cloth. At 12:40, after having lunch at the next to last shelter, we still have 10 miles to go. We roll into camp separately between 5:40 and 6:00. By this time, my boots are nearly dry. I had changed into dry socks part way through the day and there was enough sunlight and low humidity.

Our food drop comes promptly at 10 and we only had to do 6 miles that morning in order to get there. We hang out for a while after it comes and then all of us decide to do the 11 miles to Antlers Campground; a beautiful place beside a huge pond. Although we all do the same miles, we hiked alone most of the day. I had hurried on sooner than Ranger and Pirate. This was our first flat section of the Wilderness and we flew! We knew everything but the last 5.5 miles was going to be pretty flat and were thrilled! The next day I put in close to 22 miles to get to Rainbow Stream Shelter and with the intention of giving myself 2 half days leading to the base of Katahdin; one 11.5 mile day and one 13.5 mile day. Ranger on the other hand, had decided on a "nearo" that day, close to zero miles; she wanted to enjoy the gorgeous campsite a while longer and not feel rushed. We had intended to meet at the shelter just before Abol but it didn't end up happening.  I ended up getting overly eager the next day and decided to do the last 3.5 miles to Abol Bridge. I end up splitting the cost of a cabin there with another hiker. Only 9 or 10 miles to the base of Katahdin! I take a ZQuil pill to sleep.

At the base of Katahdin, the following day, I eat a huge 2.5 serving size of freeze-dried sweet and sour pork with rice. To me, it's to die for. I had saved it since Shaws just for this night. The next day, with a slack-pack, I start hiking my last mountain at 6:30. I reach the summit close to 11; this 5.5 mile climb is like no other, it's a hazardous rock scramble almost comparable to the Mahoosuc Notch but it lasts 3 miles and is almost entirely straight up. There are giant boulders, there are places with rebar, there were a few occasions when I hoisted myself up backwards onto the next boulder. I had almost lost track of the blazes by following a horizontal one the wrong way. I went right up and over it instead of turning and I wasn't the only one to make that mistake that day. It's foggy at the top and I wait a good hour before descending; 5 other through-hikers end up joining me and we get a group photo. Some of them had come with a family member or two. The fog stayed at the summit but it did start clearing up bit by bit after the table top. I got amazing views and they kept changing in their appearance thanks to the wind whipping the fog around.

When we all get down, I'm offered a ride into Millinocket where I met my Mom at a hiker lodge. It's now the 9 of September.

Trials of the Trail: Part 6

It takes me 3 days to reach the first 4,000 footer in New England from Hanover, New Hampshire. The mountain is called Moosilauke and it is 4,800 feet. I decided to just hike up and over it August 7th and then go into the town of Lincoln. The day only contained 10 miles and I was done by 1:00; I was given a ride into town by a day hiker who had hiked down with me. Thanks to the position of the trail, I happened to be able spend the next day slack-packing a good 17 miles up and over the Kinsman peaks and end up on a second road that leads into Lincoln. It was the best decision I could have made; the terrain would have been almost too intimidating had I kept my full pack. There were a few sections that had out-right rock climbing straight up. I had left most of my stuff at a hostel in town and was able to take a taxi ride back.

After minimal sleep I spend just over half the day debating on whether or not I should stay. Due to the fact that the weather was going to be cloudy with a chance of rain the next day, I eventually gather the gumption to leave...I don't reach the the trail until about 3:40. I do a steep 3 miles up and then an easier 3 miles along the length of Franconia Ridge. It's the most breath-taking place so far and it feels familiar, like I may have had a dream about this place as a child. The sun starts setting as I approach the side trail to Green Leaf Hut...unfortunately for me, it's another steep, down-hill mile off the trail. It takes an extra 45 minutes to get there but I luck out and get work-for-stay along with Little Rhino and Lollygag. We do a little work cleaning up the kitchen in exchange for left-overs and a place to sleep (on the floor of the dining room).

The next day was as gloomy as I had expected it to be but it didn't rain and had actually cleared up by the time I reached Zealand Hut by Zealand Falls. Since I arrived rather late and since this hut was right on the trail, there's no work for stay this time and they suggest that I go half a mile farther to tent. I stick around for the left overs they kept saying they couldn't promise and then I actually go and cowboy camp on the falls. A couple is nice enough to bring my pack inside for me, I'm still paranoid about rodents finding a way into my food bag. I leave late the next morning, August 11th, after having left-overs and doing some cleaning with Hong Kong Steve.  We go down to Crawford Notch, an 8 mile hike, and run into trail angels. They end up offering us a ride into the town of Gorham, which is extremely nice of them since it's 45 minutes away. Although I was really tempted to start up Webster Cliffs and head towards Mount Washington while the weather was nice, I knew I was in no shape to do so and took the ride with Hong Kong Steve. Between the obvious risk of dehydration (it was 90 degrees, there are no water sources on the way up) and the bad pack rash I had gotten, I would not have been able to enjoy myself.

I, much to my surprise, end up spending 6 nights at the White Mountain Hostel. I slack-packed 3 days, zeroed one, and had a light pack over the Wild Cats which just means I brought a day and a half worth of food and left any other unnecessary gear at the hostel. It was a 21 mile section that took taller and, of course, faster hikers than me close to 12 hours to slack-pack this in a day so I made the right choice for myself. I did just over half of it to get to Imp Shelter and then did 8 miles back to the Hostel the next day. The 1st slack-pack was up Webster Cliffs to the summit of Mount Washington and then Hong Kong Steve and I got a ride down the auto road. There was no view on the summit that day, just fog and at one point, driving rain. We zero the next day and then pick up where we left off (again no view for us) and climb along the ridge line toward Madison and Pinkham Notch. In order to try to do the Wild Cats in dry weather, we decide to southbound a 12 mile section toward the hostel (it's right on the trail) and then do that mountain range the day after. Unfortunately, it rains halfway through the day anyway and the already terrifying drops look deadly. I end up testing all the trees to see if I can swing from the base of one to the base of the next. These are 8 to 10 foot drops of sloping flat rock, and with 20-30 lbs, you're not going to try to jump. The people I had started with, Griz and Spidey, were nowhere to be seen and I was beginning to fall apart. When I finally reach the shelter, the last portion slowing me down to close to a mile an hour, I'm pretty cold, wet and hungry.

The next day, I leave early enough to reach the hostel by about 10:40 and found out Griz had turned around within the 1st three miles of the hike and that Spidey hadn't come back yet. When I arrive, I am offered a free night's stay; I must have looked the prime example of misery...at least that's what I had thought at the time. But it turned out I had made an impression on the owner when I mentioned how I'd been saving my money for almost 10 years and that was how I was affording this trip. Thank you to everyone at the White Mountain Hostel for everything! The breakfasts were amazing and this place will always be one of the biggest highlights of my trip! I miss you guys!

It's the 18th of August by the time I finally leave the Hostel and arrive, at long last, in Maine. It took me 8 whole hours to make it to Full Goose Shelter, only 10 miles away from where I started that day. The sun had hit the horizon by the time I got there. This particular day was when I experienced my first bad fall, ironically on a set of stone steps, not on the nearly impossible sections that made me move incredibly slow. I had done a face plant and hit my forehead on a rock. There was a good sized knot and a light green bruise that arose, but I felt rather lucky considering; no one was able to tell.

Trials of the Trail: Part 5

Connecticut turned out to be the buggiest state and we also saw a ton of tiny frogs and Massachusetts was wonderful! I tented for free for 2 nights at Great Barrington and hikers could spend $5.00 to have access to a shower, pool and sauna. I had done 18 miles and was starting to get shin splints so I took the hint and stayed. To get into town I did what I'm dubbing a hiker hobble hitch since my feet were sore. I got trail magic going in and more going out. The person who gave me ride offered to buy me dinner and I got a giant slice of chocolate cake on the way back to the trail.

Two days after zeroing in Great Barrington, I zeroed at Upper Goose Pond Cabin with Windwalker. This place was a bright red, two story cabin that had a caretaker who was absolutely amazing. There are people who volunteer a week or more of their summer to work here. They serve the hikers pancakes and coffee in the morning and the people working there the week we arrived also served us a wonderful dinner. It was an irresistable place due to the company and the beauty. We could canoe out on the pond, all of those who had arrived the same day we did ended up drawn into the vortex as well. I got to play the word game Snatch with the family taking care of the place and have a good time with everyone.

I hiked with Windwalker through Dalton and Cheshire and over Greylock, but since Massachusetts is mostly a blur after the cabin I'll move onto Vermont. Vermont was the state where I was introduced to a rodent problem. The mice and even the squirrels would get into food bags. My food bag was hanging in a tree like most nights and, this was a couple days before reaching Manchester Center, Vermont, there was a hole in my bag right where there was a Peanut Crunch Clif bar. The following night, there were mice in the bag and I stayed up all night listening to the party they were having in there. By this point we're only 3 miles from town so I didn't fret. I was given some oatmeal in the morning and I just carried the bag to the road and threw it away, food and all the moment I got into town. Joker, another hiker I had met in Virginia, and I had hitched in together and then ended up staying the whole day in town hanging out at the McDonalds and of course for me this day included shopping for more food and a new bag to put the food in. At the end of the day, we and 2 other hikers hike 3 more miles out of town and cowboy camp on the Bromley ski lift. Cowboy camp means that you're just using a sleeping pad and sleeping bag with no tent. We slept under the stars and it was windy enough up there that night that dew wasn't a problem. Joker stayed up the whole night and woke us all up in time for the sunrise which was gorgeous and which we had planned to do, so no harm done.

Thanks to some south bounders we met on top of Bromley, we all have a plan to arrive in Rutland, Vermont to see what the 12 Tribes Yellow Deli is all about. We heard from them that if we arrive on a Friday they'll serve us dinner as well as the promised breakfast. Well, it turned out to be another vortex. I stayed 3 nights. Hiked 17 miles back to the Yellow Deli one day, then zeroed yet again, then finally managed to get on the trail by 11:40. That day I put in 18 miles by 6:30, in part due to the fact that this was my original plan before I had left late, but also because it was raining and chilly the whole day. Luckily I had added good protein mix with a bit of coffee in it to get me through, so I wasn't starving myself exactly.
The next day I do six miles and meet a friend in Woodstock. I end up taking a nap after how exhausting the last few days had been; I didn't sleep well in the Yellow Deli due to how hot it was in the bunkroom there. My friend helps me slackpack another 21.5 miles after having caught up on my sleep. Slackpacking is when you blend in with all the day hikers. You just bring food, water and maybe an extra layer in a day bag. After the visit I finally enter New Hampshire home of the White Mountains!

Trials of the Trail Part 4

So, me and a new friend start hiking together for the last couple days of Pennsylvania. Our 20 mile day to Wind Gap starts at 5:30 AM and ends up taking 12 hours. It was that rocky; a hike that normally takes between 7 and 9 hours took us until 5:15 to complete. Both of us are deleriously tired, plus cold and wet from an afternoon of rain. We head towards the Gateway Motel that our guidebooks say is .3 miles to the left of the trailhead. The sign is spotted fairly quickly, we take another left just in front of the sign and head up about a 90 meter driveway. Two people are already standing there; a couple we both know from Hawaii who started from the same shelter we did around the same time; we'd been leap-frogging them all day. There are two doors that are wide open and the couple don't appear to be going towards any other room. As we approached the building we discover that the whole place has been gutted. You can see the floor joists and there's not a scrap of dry wall left on the walls. The couple had just called a cab about 5 minutes before we arrived and had been told that he would be there in about an hour/hour 1/2. By this point we're also starving but the logic we have on the trail is: once in town, you don't pull out your trail food. None of us grabbed anything out of our food bag, not that being this stubborn is helpful, it's just the way we saw things.

When the cab driver finally arrives, true to his word about an hour and 15 minutes later, we all climb in and tell him we want to go to the Red Carpet Inn. Another grand surprise! He doesn't know where this place is and asks us how to get there. Of course, all we have is a guidebook map that doesn't have a whole lot of detail or information but we figure it out. Once checked in, we shower and order 2 large pizzas, garlic knots and a bottle of Sprite. When it arrives at our door we learn that their large pizzas are 18' or 20' across so we pack out pizza for the next day.

Our 15 mile day goes smoother but we did get rather tired of pizza; we had 3 stops for food and each time we had another slice. We did get rained on again in the last 4.5 miles...deja vu. Due to the rain and how cool the town is, we decided to zero in Delaware Water Gap.

New Jersey was the next state and even now, is actually my favorite one to have hiked through. The trail was easy, the scenery beautiful. There were "bog logs" or "cat walks" or whatever you want to call them zig-zagging through the woods and there was an actual boardwalk at one point. It was part of the Wallkill Wildlife Refuge.

After beautiful New Jersey, I head into New York with a different hiking partner going by One Feather and the 1st town I remember hitting is Greenwood Lake. Five miles outside of Greenwood Lake we meet Windwalker who decides to break for camp with us. We hike for the next few days together, the three of us. We walk through a NY zoo and get to go swimming in a pool just outside the zoo, we order pizza and subs at a deli and we spent a fair amount of time sharing some comedy. Although NY was rather dry, there were numerous water jugs at just about every road. The state seemed to go by rather quickly.

Trials of the Trail: Part 3

So, I left off with me reaching Harper's Ferry the day before my birthday. I zero in town for the 8th and then get driven to Silver Spring on the 9th to celebrate my birthday with my mom, my sister and my grandfather. On the evening of the 10th, I attend my younger brother's wedding and then start right back on the trail the following morning. I get started around maybe 10 AM and was only going to do 15 miles...but I was chatting with someone who was going to do 2 more miles to a campground in the hopes for a good shower. What's two more miles after how easy most of MD was so far? It wasn't bad at all and we get rewarded for going the extra two miles. We had come upon a group of 4-H campers and their families providing trail magic.

They were making a nice big dinner of spaghetti with sauce, garlic bread and even a couple desserts for all the through hikers there. This group had made a strawberry pound cake and a chocolate cake with cherries in it and actually baked them over the fire. And yes, they also brought us smores! In exchange for the magic, we were to tell stories about the trail and why we started it. Apparently, the counselor leading the "Bug Patrol" kids has been doing trail magic at this campground for a number of years, close to 20 if I remember correctly, and we just happened to get there on just the right day and I just happened to change my plan by a couple of miles. Plus the magic didn't even end with dinner or desserts...they all stayed there the night and cooked up a breakfast of pancakes in the morning.

The next day, I decide to relax and do about nine miles instead of my normal 15 to 20. This gave me a chance to enjoy the views from Black Rock and Annapolis Rocks...they may not have occurred in that order but I know I went past both of them that day. My mom and my grandfather met me in PenMar Park the following day and I complete those 16 miles by 1 PM and hang out to wait for the picnic I know is coming. I purposely ignore the hunger pangs so I can fully enjoy the turkey pesto sandwich from Whole Foods.

Next state. Dreaded Pennsylvania aka "Rocksylvania". No, it is not neccessarily the rockiest state but it is the most painful rocky state to go through because of how many small sharp rocks there are jutting out of the ground. People have compared them to shark teeth. Many of us suffered from new pressure blisters on our heels. Little did I know that rocks would be the least of my worries in this state. I was introduced to the phenomenon of prickly heat; a heat rash that felt like bee stings up and down my back and that would come and go from Pennsylvania all the way up until Vermont.

The last 2 days of Pennsylvania were pretty crazy. I was hiking with someone and we had planned a 20 mile day into the town of Wind Gap followed by a 15 mile day into Delaware Water Gap, the town just before the bridge to New Jersey. And I will save this crazy story for tomorrow.

Trials of the Trail: Part 2

After a week of long miles and short sleeps, I reached Waynesboro, VA, a rather sprawled out town. I had gotten there by 10 AM after having gotten up around 3:30. I had just 12 miles left, but wanted to get to Rock Fish Gap in time for the trail magic I had heard would be there thanks to a fellow hiker's parents. Trail magic is a term we use for the times when "trail angels" either do something as simple as leave a cooler with drinks and snacks at a trail head by a road or when they pull out all the stops and grill up burgers, hot dogs or chicken. I once walked into a parking lot where someone's parents were making pancakes, boiling water for hot chocolate, had hot ham. The trail angels are most often people who have hiked the Appalachian Trail before or are related to someone who is hiking or has hiked the trail before. So...I get there at 10 in time to enjoy Dunkin Donuts, coffee with cream and sugar, homemade cookies, water and bananas. There was also beer, but I've never liked beer.

In town, the 1st thing I did was go to the Y, find their lawn for tenting, set up my tent then went in to take a shower. Then, like all hikers, I made a bee line to the all you can eat Chinese buffet called Ming's Garden where I quickly scarfed down 2 full plates of food; one with proteins, the 2nd, desserts. A true hiker has at least two plates in which you cannot even make out that there is a plate there is such a mountain of food. I've met a Sir-Eats-A-Lot who swears he can demolish 6 such plates.

When I finally decide to do laundry, I'm at this point, essentially dead on my feet. All I had in my wallet were twenties and, yes, I was so far gone that I put a twenty dollar bill into the quarter machine and ended up with 80 quarters. When I buy the detergent and put everything into the wash and start it up, it starts spinning, but there's no water and I start to panic a little. Did I just pour soap on my clothes and start up a dryer instead? About 5 to 10 seconds go by and then the machine finally starts filling with water. This whole time, I'm about half a centimeter from falling into tears. I start calling random people on my phone to keep the breakdown at bay...just for a while longer. When I get back to the lawn of tents, I am offered a burger; the other hikers bought food to grill up. I, of course, said yes. Hikers never say no to food...we almost lose the ability to feel full while on the trail. Shortly after finishing, I climb into my tent and finally let go of the flood gates. I had been holding onto all the emotional pain of the illness, of the spat between me and my hiking partner just before he left, of having "failed" him in some way, all of this for a whole week and it was time to let it go.

My "zero day" (a day where we don't do any miles) in this particular town contained 8 miles thanks to how, as I mentioned before, sprawled out it was. The next town I reached after Waynesboro was Front Royal and there was another fabulous trial that occurred there. But I'll tell that another time.

By June 7th, I finally reached Harper's Ferry, the psychological halfway point. I timed it just right in more than one way. I got to zero for my birthday the following day and go to my brother's wedding 2 days later. As it happens though, I got there on a Tuesday, the one day of the week Dot Com worked at the ATC there. Somehow, we got to find out that we have a friend in common. She knows my middle school track coach because she and him used to be colleagues at the Maryland School for the Deaf. (He used to work there before teaching at my middle school.) Plus, as luck would have it, he has a place in Maine near the trail. I'll explain why this turns into an important detail later...but perhaps you can figure it out on your own.

Trials of the Trail: Part 1 of Who Knows

Since my last post I have started and finished the Appalachian Trail. All 2,189 miles of it and it took from March 8th to September 9th. I started with a friend who had done it before and who I happened to meet at the Panera in Morgantown. The choice I made to date and move in with my now ex-boyfriend directly lead to me being able to hike the trail. A whole lot of things in my life fell apart so that my dream of doing the trail could fall together. I left college with a general studies degree instead of a teaching certificate when a family emergency distracted me from my studies and I chose to say yes to someone who I knew wasn't a good fit for me but who I fell for anyway. My job at Panera was a health hazard for me because I ran around the dining room for 8 hours, getting 10+ miles in a day and I felt I couldn't eat often enough with how long my to do list was. I ended up losing weight and I only weighed 115lbs to begin with. But all of these things were lining up so that I could pursue my dream of through-hiking the Appalachian Trail.

On the trail at the very beginning, I was getting a new blister everyday thanks to shoes that were too big and inserts that only supported half of each foot...essentially, they were sliding up and down the length of my shoes. I was also struggling with a pack that was way too heavy and evasive sleep. Each night I would have maybe four dreams and then be wide awake between each of them due to how disturbing they were. One by one though, the problems got sorted out. I got a more comfortable sleeping pad; I sent 2 boxes of stuff home from Suches, GA on the 3rd day; bought new inserts and started wearing 2 pairs of socks. Eventually I bought some ZQuil too. I kept thinking I'd get tired enough for the sleep problem to resolve itself but that didn't seem to be the case.

I ended up with the trail name Two-Pack because my pack looked really fat and I really do look that small. People would say that it looks as though it weighed about as much as me. Trail names are a fun aspect of the cultural subset present in the hiking community. Even section hikers will end up with trail names. They are often given based on mistakes hikers make or due to funny stories of other kinds. For example, there was a Big Bad Wolf because this particular hiker had 3 boar piglets follow him through the Smokies and he kept trying to scare them away so their mother wouldn't chase after him and yet they'd come back a few moments later each time he scared them away. Then there was a woman named Prince Charming and a man named Cinderella because she found his camp shoe and brought it to him. I met a section hiker who was doing part of the trail with his friend and he decided an appropriate name for her was Pantry...you can guess why.

After completing close to 700 miles of the trail I caught some serious illness that...let's just say it caused me to run out of toilet paper rather quickly. I waited 3 1/2 days before going to a clinic. Not only did I presume that it would go away on its own, but we also had 2 more days of hiking before we would arrive in a place where I could do so. We get to a hostel on Friday, May 13th and after a long night in the hostel, I again decide to believe that it's over. Well, I felt better because I was empty and shortly after starting off again from the hostel, it comes roaring back and not only that but my friend falls ill too. We make it to the next road, 6 or 7 miles away and get a ride back to the hostel so we can get to a clinic.

In the end, I end up with prescriptions for Cipro and Metronidazole and started taking them that night while my hiking partner, who couldn't get any medicine (he forgot to bring an insurance card), decided outright that he's going to quit and go home. Right after completing my medicinal regimen, I get back on the trail and for some reason ended up doing 134 miles in a week. I figured out that a big part of this was that I felt I deserved to suffer some more since I probably helped my friend quit. Each time we got to a shelter, I would tell the people there about how even though I'm 23 (now 24 since June), my parents didn't want me to do the trail alone...within earshot of my friend. I was feeling terrible about having done that so often and felt that I deserved all the physical pain. It took me a while to forgive myself. We all want to feel empowered and I am no exception; so the fact that my parents required me to start with someone hurt my ego more than I realized.

Now the positive side of this story is that while staying in the nearby town of Daleville, I was able to share a room with someone I had met earlier and he too had medicine to take due to an upper respiratory infection of some kind. Plus, the very next day, we meet this couple who not only have hiked the trail, but are offering to be our chauffeur and take us out to lunch and dinner. We go to Chipotle for lunch and they manage to use various coupons to get 3 free burritos then we go to Golden Corral for dinner that night and even a grocery store for probiotics since I knew the antibiotics would cause me some problems. They were also generous enough to help me get the 20 miles I missed between the hostel and Daleville and had offered to drop me off on the right road. The trail goes right into town and spits you out right next to the hotel we were staying in. It was perfect and free so I said yes. The hike took way too long for someone on 2 heavy meds, even though all I brought was food and water; I had only had 2 nights of good sleep after having had 3 nights of next to no sleep. The 20 miles took almost a whole hour longer than it should have; I was hiking from 8 AM to 4 PM.

Again, things fell apart so that something great could fall together. I'll post the 2nd portion of the trip tomorrow.