An Illusory Prison

I used to feel imprisoned
by the dark stone walls
of grief and shame
and the cold stone floor
of self-pity and even
subconscious self-loathing.
I used to feel imprisoned by the past.

But then one day,
I posited a question:
Why should I carry
more shame and self-loathing
than the person who wronged me?
And the once solid prison walls
began to waver and falter.
Though not quite freed
from the illusory prison,
I began to perceive
that it was a mere delusion.

I'll admit, it took a few days
or weeks
of looking at this question
for the seemingly solid stones
to become a mirage
and for the mirage
to dissolve without a trace.

And it has since come to me,
that my father imprisoned me,
so I could set us free.
The darkness within him
was so complete,
he could not free himself
and instead felt he
needed me to join him
in his suffering.

So now I feel I must believe
that this traumatic transgression
was necessary
so that it would spur me to delve
fully and completely
into healing myself,
to delve fully and completely
into mastering forgiveness
so I could set us free.