No Enemy to Fight

Day by day,
I am learning how to accept myself.
Day by day,
I am learning how to embrace myself.

Step by step,
I am beginning to accept my past.
Step by step,
I am beginning to embrace my path.

Though the road has often been treacherous,
though things have not been easy,
I am starting to appreciate
where the road has taken me.

Everything has led to where I am now;
a place of belonging,
a place overflowing with love,
a place where I could learn to sing.

I am starting to understand
that my past is not my enemy.
I am starting to see
that my idiosyncrasies are not my enemy.
In fact, there are no enemies for me to fight.
Just my ego calling for love
after feeling hurt and abandoned.

The Love That Never Left

    As you are a soul, nothing from this world can tarnish your holiness. As you are a soul, no form of violence can mar your perfection. You have believed that if you had ever been a beloved and holy child of God, it was before your trauma. You have believed that if you had ever been an innocent, sacred, and divine being, it was before you were vandalized. But I would assure you that in truth, you are My beloved and have always been, and as My beloved child, you cannot be defiled. You have also believed that I could not love you and let this happen. But I promise you, My love for you never left. You have always been surrounded by it, embraced by it.
    Please know that I do not want My children to suffer, but you had wanted to come here to suffer so that one day you might learn that you need not do so. Not only that, but you wanted to try to teach people this truth. The path you chose for this incarnation has not been easy, I know this; but you wanted to do something powerfully good with it, something beautifully loving with it. Your soul is whole. Your soul is loved. Your soul is made in God's image and with God's perfect vision. Be rest assured that nothing on your path has ever had the power to take you away from My love. Be rest assured that nothing on your path has ever had the power to strip away My gifts to you. I love you through eternity and my gifts to you remain yours through eternity.

No Finish Line; Bringing Light Into the Dark

    For the longest time I have felt the need for there to be a finish-line for my healing journey and that only if and when I crossed it could I be worthy, only when I crossed it could I be deserving, could I be lovable. But there is no finish-line...and it took me a while to be ok with that. Because when I realized there's no finish-line, I felt it meant I would never worthy, deserving, or lovable. Now I am beginning to see it in a different way. One, the reason there is no finish-line is because healing is not linear and also because time is an earthly construct. Time doesn't exist on the other side of the veil, not the way it does here on the earth plane. Secondly, I have begun to realize that we should approach the healing journey with the open curiosity of a child exploring. The child does not have a destination in mind, nor does the child judge what he/she finds. The child looks at every new thing with wonder...which just might be another word for love. Learn to love every landmark, learn to look at the whole of your healing journey with wonder.

Bringing Light Into the Dark

You are not running out of time.
There is no race, there is no finish-line.
Your journey within is much more important
than your life-path, than your story.

What you bring to your dark surroundings
is more important than the darkness.
What you bring to the wounded
is more important than that which wounded you.
What you bring to the blind
is more important than that which stole your sight.
For you are bringing light into the dark
and you have chosen to do so.

You came here to be a shining light for those who could not see.
You came here to restore your vision and that of humanity.
You came here to be a light in the dark.

Angels of light fell from heaven
like shooting stars into the deepest nights.
They wished to kindle fires of hope
within the souls who lost their way.
But the only way to do so,
was to feel wounded by the wounded,
was to feel the root of humanity's pain
and to then transform that pain and sorrow
into something new.

You are not the darkness you have seen around you.
You are a holy being bringing light into the dark.
You are not the swirling shadows that have surrounded you.
You are a sacred being bringing light into the dark.
You are not the heavy storm clouds that clash with thunder and lightning.
You are God's beloved bringing light into the dark.

And there is no finish-line for the angels of light to cross.
Just keep shining your light into the night.

Disempowering the Past

The first step you must take to disempower the past is to stop condemning yourself for how the past has shaped you. Stop condemning yourself for your idiosyncrasies, your maladaptive behaviors and patternings. Acknowledge that you have always done the best you can and believe wholeheartedly that your best is and has always been enough.

The next step you must take to disempower the past is to begin to allow the light that you carry, the light that you are, to take precedence over your story. Allow yourself to experience, fully experience, the light that you are. You are the Light of God, not your trauma. You are the Love of God, not your past, not your fears. You are the Grace of God. Not your less than pleasant circumstances or upbringing. Be the Light. Be the Light. Be the Light. Remember who you are and be the Light of God.

The Magic That's Within

    Over the last week or so, I have been taking the time to internalize what had originally felt like two truths that could not be reconciled. I may have experienced trauma in my past but I am still a loved and lovable. I may have gone through heavy storms but I am still a sacred and beloved child of God. Until recently, I could not accept both as simultaneously true because my human consciousness has obviously thought that if I were all of these good things, then my outer world would have reflected that. It has believed that the past trauma was clearly proof that I am not loved or lovable, sacred or divine. Now I am beginning to accept the veracity of both. It has been very challenging because it is a lot like trying to believe in Santa Clause again after learning he isn't real. On the plus side of that statement; imagine how joyous an experience it would be to believe in magic again.

I am learning to believe again
in the magic that's within.
I'm starting to see the signs,
that I am, in fact, divine.

I am learning to believe again
in the holiness within.
I'm starting to see a trace,
of my own indwelling grace.

It has taken me a while
to find a way to reconcile
that though I've walked through darkness,
I am not the dark;
that though I've been through many hell-scapes
I am not the flames.

It has taken me a while
to find a way to reconcile
that though I've walked through storms,
I am neither
the furious wind
nor the hammering rain.

I am learning to believe again
in the magic that's within.

God Is In the Silence

I'm currently reading a book called All the Light We Cannot See, and I have been wanting to try to write something with that line in mind. 

God is the wind beneath my wings
allowing me to soar.
God is the warm summer rain falling through the foliage
allowing me to grow.

God is the glistening dew
that settles on the petals of wildflowers,
adding jewels to their colorful crowns,
reminding me of the blessing found
in shedding ones own tears.

God is the sun that warms my back,
reminding me it's there
even when my back is turned,
even when I sometimes choose
to lose myself in the shadows I cast upon the ground.

God is in all the light we cannot see
between the raindrops and the breeze.
God is in all the light we cannot see,
the light that burgeons out from opening hearts
and blossoms from open hands.

God is in the silence,
in the peaceful stillness that wraps around you
as you prepare to go to sleep.
God is in the melody birds offer us each morning.
God is in the breath I breathe, in the love I give, and in the words I share.