Thank You and F*ck You

To the Department of Social Services:

Thank you for intervening in our care,
but fuck you for ignoring all the
crystal clear signs of my incestuous trauma
and fuck you for disregarding and dismissing
the concerns brought to you about this.
Thank you for sending us to safe foster families
and fuck you for sometimes sending us back
to the abuse and neglect.
Thank you for putting us up for adoption,
but fuck you for scheduling weekly visits with my abuser.

The inactions on your part caused us so much harm.
Even after the adoption,
I spent my life feeling as though
I wasn’t allowed to have needs,
that it wasn’t safe to express myself.
Even though our current parents are safe,
I have spent my life unable to come to them
about my struggles….
To the point that
when I found myself in excruciating pain
in the middle of the night,
I could not bring myself
to wake my mother up.
I was more willing to risk death that night
than interrupt my mother’s precious sleep.

Thank you for saving us,
but fuck you for your incompetence.
Thank you for giving us a shot at a brighter future,
and fuck you for giving us all so many extra wounds to carry.

Thank You Letter to God

 Dear Mother, Father, God,

I just want to thank You for all of the wonderful things you have helped me manifest so far! With Your assistance, I was able to start and finish the Appalachian Trail and just 18 months after completing the AT, I co-created an 8 month trip to Europe with You. Thank You so much for these healing adventures!

Dear Mother, Father, God,
I also want to thank you for the perfect living situation with loving and supportive relationships. Thank You, God, for leading me to the most wonderful place in the world with the most wonderful people and PETS. I am so grateful You were able to find a place that was bright, spacious, friendly, and homey. Thank You so much for allowing me to create a place that caters to all of my physical, spiritual, and emotional needs, including those of my inner child. Dear Mother, Father, God, I thank you for sending the right people my way to help me manifest what is absolutely perfect. This place is quiet and respectful at night and yet boisterous and joyful each day and for that I am so grateful to you, God. This place feels safe and secure. This place feels welcoming and is exciting to return to after an extended time away. This place is full of amazing people who are lifting themselves and everyone around them. And for all of this I am grateful to You, God. Thank you, God, for providing me with a place in which everything is in working order and everyone pitches in. Thank You so much for fulfilling my inner child's lifelong desire to belong.
Yours truly,
Charlie

I Choose Change

I CHOOSE CHANGE!

In the Past,
there HAS BEEN a recurring theme
of being disrespected,
of being walked all over,
of having my basic needs denied by others.
BUT THIS SHALL BE NO MORE! FOR I CHOOSE CHANGE!

In the Past,
there have been times
when I felt that my needs
were discarded as inconveniences by others.
BUT THIS SHALL BE NO MORE! FOR I CHOOSE CHANGE!

In the Past,
I chose to shrink myself
and disregard my own needs
in order to accommodate others.
BUT THIS SHALL BE NO MORE! FOR I CHOOSE CHANGE!! 

I will instead embrace a future in which I am comfortable setting and maintaining boundaries regardless of how others respond to them. I will instead embrace a future in which I know myself to be deserving of respect and will surround myself with people who love, support, and respect me. I will embrace a future in which those who disrespect me will not hold power over me. For I will be so sure of who I am as the beloved child of God, that their actions or inactions will not faze me. I hereby disempower the behavior of others and instead step into my own power with both feet firmly planted. I CHOOSE CHANGE!