Thank You and F*ck You

To the Department of Social Services:

Thank you for intervening in our care,
but fuck you for ignoring all the
crystal clear signs of my incestuous trauma
and fuck you for disregarding and dismissing
the concerns brought to you about this.
Thank you for sending us to safe foster families
and fuck you for sometimes sending us back
to the abuse and neglect.
Thank you for putting us up for adoption,
but fuck you for scheduling weekly visits with my abuser.

The inactions on your part caused us so much harm.
Even after the adoption,
I spent my life feeling as though
I wasn’t allowed to have needs,
that it wasn’t safe to express myself.
Even though our current parents are safe,
I have spent my life unable to come to them
about my struggles….
To the point that
when I found myself in excruciating pain
in the middle of the night,
I could not bring myself
to wake my mother up.
I was more willing to risk death that night
than interrupt my mother’s precious sleep.

Thank you for saving us,
but fuck you for your incompetence.
Thank you for giving us a shot at a brighter future,
and fuck you for giving us all so many extra wounds to carry.