Holding Fast to a Vision

Last Sunday, I asked the senior minister if there might be anything I should know going into my coming year and he said simply that I should hold fast to my vision and not let any wind sway me. Thinking on it, I was suddenly lost. Which vision should I hold onto? Going to school? Joining the Peace Corp or AmeriCorps? Or the craziest one of going to France to learn French? I've been wanting to become fluent in French and feel inclined to immerse myself in it. Although I took French for 6 years from middle school through high school, this is by far the easiest one to feel swayed from. Where's the money going to come from? Do I even have the skills to act the part of a miser in a foreign country for a couple months? Will it actually help me locate a more precise direction to focus my energy in. Currently all I know about my calling is that I will be working with children, likely children with special needs but when and in what capacity, I don't know. I was briefly working at a Montessori School and had thought that was going to be my direct line. Little did I know there was to be yet another detour in store. They say life is more like a labyrinth or a spiral staircase than a straight line, always circles and U-turns.
Lately, I've come to recognize that I'm still hung up on the outcome of my last college experience. Between the near loss of a family member followed by a professor who knew my situation yet was unwilling to lend me a hand, I can't tell if I failed to get my education degree because it wasn't the right time or if it wasn't quite the right field. I don't want to go into it again and fail again. (I ended up with a General Studies Bachelor Degree.) I want to know what I'm doing and where I'm going when I go back to college as well as earn the scholarship money. Hence all the big dreams of places to go and things to do. It's not only to bulk up my resume. It's to bulk up my life skills and to create a fully formed vision of what I want to do with my life in order to help children through arduous times.
At this moment, I just don't have it. I can't even pull my focus in to put together a simple party for the weekend. I just want new experiences so I've chosen to go with the flow the way I did in the White Mountains so whatever happens, happens and it will be beautiful no matter what.