After three bus rides, I safely got to Lourdes around 7 and am right next to the Pyrenees Mountains! Super excited for tomorrow. I plan to visit the baths, the gorgeous cathedral I spotted from the last bus I was on, and perhaps a museum or two. Heck, who am I kidding, most of tomorrow is going to be a surprise even to me.
Despite the excitement, I have also been feeling lonely again. Part of it might be my own doing in the sense that I have a propensity for putting even my closest friends "out of sight, out of mind" and I feel guilty for that at times. I don't know if this has to do with a continuation of traits and qualities I developed from my experience in my early childhood or what but it's starting to wear on me. As someone who believes in soul groups, this makes me feel even more lonely because I sometimes feel as though I haven't found mine yet since many if not most of my friendships have been transient. Early on, it was because one friend moved away, then because I switched schools. Perhaps I have been connected to my soul group but we're all so good at being on our own, we don't meet up often.
There's also the strong desire to find another boyfriend. Over the course of my travels, I've met a few people who peaked my interest but there was no fruition. In fact one person of interest ended up connecting better with someone else on the farm in Leicestershire. Being single for this long is always hard. I'm starting to miss the day when all my walls were up and I didn't give a damn.
Sorry for the crazy post but after spending the past weekend doing almost nothing, I've been feeling down. I felt I needed the recovery time, but sometimes sitting around a lot makes me rather depressive. Things will be better tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment