Addressing the Inner Child

    As expressed in an earlier post, I truly feel as though I have mostly gotten over the events of the past. And while that is still true, it is also true that my inner child has not done so. Sadly, I admit that whenever the past came to the forefront of my mind, instead of seeing it as my inner child calling for healing and comfort from me, I responded with proclamations of apathy towards the event, thinking to myself, 'It's fine. I'm over it.'
    What I had failed to recognize is that the key difference between her healing process and mine is that mine is not hindered by explicit memories of the traumas. It is easy for me to find comfort in the idea that I, as a soul, chose this life; in the idea that my father was/is simply a deeply wounded and lost soul when I have no recollection of the pain and the terror. I may have dug up some nitty gritty details about the event, but having that knowledge is not even close to the same thing as carrying vivid memories of the experience.
    This means that she still does not trust God, she does not trust the world, and she does not yet trust herself. And while that mistrust exists in my inner child, it remains in my consciousness as well. This mistrust is what has allowed my circumstances to paralyze me; I am convinced that no matter what course of action I might choose, I will make the "wrong" choice or that there will be some trap laid for me behind every door.
    With that all said, here's something I wrote to address the wounded child within:
I am sorry I keep abandoning you. I promise to pay closer attention to your needs. I shall listen for you daily and send all the love and comfort I can to you. I will no longer presume we are both over it. I will no longer pretend that this was some small hurdle to get over. You have every right to be hung up on this terrible event. Come to me and rest your head on my shoulder; you may cry if you must.
    Let me hold you in my arms. Let me show you what safety feels like for that is the new truth for us to know. Let me tell you a story about how far we have come, about how much of the world we have seen. We have surprised people with our tenacity and perseverance. We have comforted people with our words and our presence. We became friends to those whom most needed a friend. It is because of you that I know myself to be strong and courageous. You are not weak for reliving this; you are not weak for weeping over this. It's truly a tragedy we experienced.
    But know that God is lifting the trauma from us. The healing grace of God is rewriting our DNA. Maybe one day you won't feel that this is too little, too late. Every moment we suffered has a divine purpose. We are not the martyr here, nor the victim. Please join me on my journey to discover the true, divinely powerful essence of our soul. Just last week, I briefly felt its expansiveness and its ancient knowledge. I knew and felt its eternal life in me.