I Give Thanks Anyway

 I Give Thanks Anyway

My father ripped my roots apart before

I had even been planted

and then he tried to bury me in his hopelessness...

but I give thanks anyway.

My father planted shame within my heart,

causing me to forget my innocence...

but I give thanks anyway.

I give thanks because his actions required me to become light,

they required me to become strong.

I give thanks because his actions required me to rebuild myself in my own image,

for they set me on a never-ending scavenger hunt for all the missing beautiful parts of me.

I thank my father for teaching me how to rebuild my roots.

I thank my father for teaching me the importance of self-love.

I thank him for teaching me how to rebuild my sense of self.

I thank him for teaching me how to rebuild a faulty foundation

by cultivating self-trust, by cultivating faith,

by leaning on the power of the Universe.

I thank him for requiring me to seek an unconditionally loving parent in a God I had ceased to believe in.

I thank him for requiring me to earnestly seek my own inner strength, my own inner light.

I thank him for requiring me to find my own path to wholeness,

to innocence,

to profound peace

by seeking and reclaiming all the missing beautiful parts of me.

I express deep gratitude for his soul's choice to spend a lifetime in chains in order to teach me how to break free...

and how to become unbreakable.
The foundation I rebuild will be immune to earthquakes.

The faith I rebuild will be immune chaos, immune to entropy.

The form of self-love I cultivate will no longer believe in the value of people-pleasing,
will no longer believe in the value of an inferiority complex. 

I will have an unshakeable sense of self after reclaiming all the missing, beautiful parts of me.

I had to become the fire that kept me warm.

I had to become the light to see where my feet met the path.

I had to become the peace that could comfort my heart.

I had to become the love that could replenish my peace.

I had to become the grace that could save my soul.