Healing is Still Happening

    It's been so hard to write lately. My mind keeps going off the deep end which is why there have been a lot of prayers posted over the last several days. I do the work every day, but there is always another layer of consciousness for me to heal. Last week I had to work through the emotions associated with not having gotten the help I needed after the trauma and that no one was there to save me from my father that day. I kept thinking, no one helped me and my father got away with it. There was no one around to help me process what had happened and my biological father told me to keep it a secret anyway. The adults around me at the time could tell that something serious had happened and in all likelihood they probably guessed, but they weren't able to address the problem.
    Today I had to work on healing the imaginings my trigger word caused me to have. I may have been in denial, but it wasn't a comforting form of denial....and unfortunately, now is not the time to make that statement less cryptic. Throughout my whole denial phase, I did not tell a soul that I had a trigger word and even now, no one in my family knows what went on in my head when the word came up. I think they deserve to know before I make it public here...
    At the moment I am trying to remind myself that even when it doesn't feel that way, I AM healing. I am healing because that has been my intention. But the going is hard, it's exhausting. It's never ending. Yes, there have been good moments and good days, but lately, I'm just getting through the day, getting through the week. I've at least found a reliable way to get some sleep, so that's a big win.

Even when the darkness is creeping towards you,
healing is still happening.
Even when the nightmarish shadows flash across your vision,
healing is still happening.
Even as you shed your tears,
healing is happening.
Even as your ghosts seem to surround you,
healing is still happening.
No matter where you are,
healing is happening.
And when you add your intention to the process,
when you trust the process,
your healing will begin to hasten.