Vocalizing Anguish

    So yesterday was interesting. Actually the first week of January has been very interesting so far. But yesterday, I finally took the time to write a letter (not to be sent) addressed to the Department of Social Services of Hagerstown, MD. The intention of writing it was to finally put in words the way the choices the DSS of MD impacted me and my emotional and physical well being. After that wrung me out, I tried to write for this blog and I felt like what I wrote fell quite flat. Anyway, with that unnecessary preamble, I am going to aim for some new free write this evening before going to bed.

Vocalizing Anguish

I'm feeling pulled and drawn to my need
to vocalize my anguish.
I was forced to keep all my pain bottled up;
I was forced into silence in the midst of terrible violence
and my voice must be freed.

No more will I keep
my voice,
my pain
in a bottle.
Just as soon as I'm able,
I shall scream into the void
and give voice to my anguish.

It's been pent up for ages,
my rage within cages,
my grief trapped on pages.
No more will I stand for the violence of silence;
I shall give myself full permission to scream, to yell, to raise bloody hell.
For once I acknowledge and allow
that I must let it all out,
I shall also remember that I never deserved it, the hell.

So far I have done all I can to be healed,
all that's left to do now is tear open the seal
and release all the rage, grief, and anguish
in an Earth shattering peal.