Never a Crown of Thorns

    Last night I was able to remind myself to view my past in terms of the people I would be able to help and support. My story could be one of hope and inspiration if I were to let it. The one tangle I had to acknowledge and side-step was that it's easy to go from that train of thought to the belief that you are only valuable because of your trauma. Even though this is slightly better than believing that trauma took your worthiness, this still means you are allowing yourself to be defined by it. I wrote ages ago that our honor does not lie in our suffering but in our ability to rise afterward. So the key continues to be not to allow the trauma we experienced to be the center of attention, but to instead look to the choices we make after and whether or not they benefit those around us. Yes, we must acknowledge the event, but we need to be careful not to empower it in such a way that it convinces us that that moment is all that matters. We need to be careful not to turn it into a crown of thorns or our crown of glory.
    I admit to struggling on again, off again with my perception of the past, but even on my off days, my intention is to be healed from this. My intention is to acknowledge, honor, and move through the difficult feelings. Do I occasionally get stuck in an eddy? Of course. But I promise I'm doing the work on a daily basis. Some days I write as though I'm moving past it while internally feeling stuck. Some days I can't hide the feeling of being stuck, and on really good days, I write all the positive things I truly believe and feel in that moment.

Know that what you have suffered
is neither a crown of thorns
nor your crown of glory.
Know that what you have suffered
is neither proof of your condemnation
nor your martyrdom.

What you choose to do afterwards
matters more than the trauma.
What you choose to give people,
hope or despair, love or fear
matters more than the trauma.
How you face the world afterwards
matters more than what you went through.

Do not condemn yourself
for what you've gone through;
do not fear your travails,
they were never meant to be a crown of thorns.
Do not worship your pain,
it was never meant to be a crown of glory.

Let go of what was and embrace the new you;
the new you who has greater compassion
for those who suffer.
Embrace the new you;
the new you who has greater patience
with those who are struggling.
Let go of what was and embrace yourself.