Seeing My Strength

    During my long walk yesterday, I started truly appreciating the fact that the life I've led would be considered amazing regardless of whether or not my childhood was stable. For example, completing the Appalachian Trail in my early twenties would be an impressive feat no matter who you are, no matter what your story is. Vagabonding alone in Europe for 8 months is amazing in and of itself as well. And the fact that I have manifested both these magnificent trips before the age of 30 and did so with the weight of my personal history is demonstrative of my incredible power.
    Before this walk, I started creating a list of things that I have accomplished that could only be done by a strong person and the 2 I just mentioned above are, of course, at the top of that list. The fact that I still graduated from high school after my biological mother dropped a bomb-shell on me 4 months prior to graduation took a great deal of strength. I even pushed through the depression hard enough to apply for and receive a full scholarship to Montgomery College. While I was at Shepherd University, my older brother attempted suicide during a critical semester, and though I had to switch majors after that, I still graduated. All of this takes immense strength. Being the caregiver for my grandfather and watching my mother's health decline as we both looked after him was really challenging. But I did that without adding my reaction to the unfolding drama. I pushed it aside to deal with later so that I could be the stable, steady rock both of them needed. Again, something only a strong person could do.
    Obviously, there are at least 2 different types of strength that I have referred to. The physical strength needed to do the trail and then the spiritual strength to have the will-power to push through all obstacles. Imagine being able to complete school while in the midst of a deep depression. (People do, all the time.) The grief and sorrow and pain were always present, sometimes just beneath the surface, but most of the time there was a shark fin visible belying, the overarching heart-ache.

How could you doubt your strength
when you take an honest look at your life?
How could you dispute your power
when you demonstrate it daily?
Your actions and accomplishments in this life
give you all the evidence you need
to prove that you already have
all the strength and power
you ever wished for.

Don't lose faith in yourself,
you have what it takes to fulfill your wildest dreams.
Trust yourself and the process,
and allow your life to unfold for you.
Allow it to blossom before you.
You have pushed through the shell of the seed,
you have pushed your roots down through the darkness of the rich soil,
you have pushed yourself through the topsoil and into the sun.
All that's left to do is allow yourself to open to the warm light.
It is there. You just have to open your eyes to receive it.
And as you open to receive your blessings,
your life will open up and pour them out for you.

Your strength and courage, your powerful intentions
shall be rewarded a hundred fold. Just allow.