Take in the New View

There's something shifting...
if you take a moment to listen.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath.
Do you feel the subtle movements in your chest?
That's your resistance being lifted.

Take a moment to breathe in slow.
Can you feel your muscles letting go?
That's the weight being lifted.

You're beginning to remember
that you don't have to carry
the weight of the world on your shoulders,
that you don't have to be Sisyphus,
forever rolling his boulder.

Take a moment to take in the new view.
It's time to look back and be proud of how far you have come,
It's time to be proud of just how much you've overcome.
Don't let your ego skew your perception,
don't let it fill your head with deception.
You have come so much farther than you have left to go,
so don't get discouraged, don't lose hope.
Just keep your eyes on the prize and keep stepping forward.
Remember your strength, remember your courage;
you're doing amazing, just keep moving onward.

Please remember, you are never alone, no matter how it appears,
so keep your head up and we'll wipe away your tears.
Simply ask for our help and we'll give you a hand,
for until you reach out, you won't know where we stand.
Call on us and we'll be by your side,
but we can't help you if behind pity you hide.

Vocalizing Anguish

    So yesterday was interesting. Actually the first week of January has been very interesting so far. But yesterday, I finally took the time to write a letter (not to be sent) addressed to the Department of Social Services of Hagerstown, MD. The intention of writing it was to finally put in words the way the choices the DSS of MD impacted me and my emotional and physical well being. After that wrung me out, I tried to write for this blog and I felt like what I wrote fell quite flat. Anyway, with that unnecessary preamble, I am going to aim for some new free write this evening before going to bed.

Vocalizing Anguish

I'm feeling pulled and drawn to my need
to vocalize my anguish.
I was forced to keep all my pain bottled up;
I was forced into silence in the midst of terrible violence
and my voice must be freed.

No more will I keep
my voice,
my pain
in a bottle.
Just as soon as I'm able,
I shall scream into the void
and give voice to my anguish.

It's been pent up for ages,
my rage within cages,
my grief trapped on pages.
No more will I stand for the violence of silence;
I shall give myself full permission to scream, to yell, to raise bloody hell.
For once I acknowledge and allow
that I must let it all out,
I shall also remember that I never deserved it, the hell.

So far I have done all I can to be healed,
all that's left to do now is tear open the seal
and release all the rage, grief, and anguish
in an Earth shattering peal. 

All You Must Do Is Remember

When your past overwhelms you,
when it threatens to drown you,
remember we already surround you.

When your grief returns from its too short hiatus,
when you can't stop saying how much you hate this,
remember to reach a thought out to God and His angels.

When your fears once again begin to crash over you,
when you start to question how someone could care for you,
remember these are just the thoughts of a poisoned ego, don't let them get to you.

If you wish to create the future of your dreams,
you first must release the nightmares of your past.
Not one thing in your past has the power to mar you;
only the perception of wrong-doings and terrible pain
are creating the illusion of coiling chains.
But we assure you, it's all in your head,
all you must do is remember.

Remember who you are. Remember your courage and strength. Remember that your purpose can become greater than the sum of your history. Let your past give you vision. Let your past give you hope. Let your past give you the future of your dreams. Invite and invoke God and his host of angels. Ask them to pour their healing grace into the painful past and transform it into something that will lift you instead of weigh you down, that would quiet the ego's venomous nightmares and replace them with the vibrant dreams of your soul.

When your past overwhelms you,
when it threatens to drown you,
you must keep your head high,
your chin to the sky,
and remember
you will learn to fly.

Here to Take Flight

Deep down you know just who you are,
so stop what you're doing, stop playing small.
Deep down you know you are more than you seem,
so please stop pretending
you can't follow your dreams.

Don't doubt what you're doing,
don't doubt your purpose for living.
You are here to do some marvelous things,
so don't let your "what if's" stop you
from spreading your wings.
You are here to take flight,
you are here to uncover
all of your might.

Don't forget who you are, don't let go of your dreams,
for those are what will give you your wings.
Please remember that you are entirely able,
so don't give your doubts a seat at the table.

Time to Take a Leap

Take a moment.
Sit still, dig deep.
You are on the precipice of transformation
and it is time to take a leap.

Take a moment.
Breathe in, breathe out.
You are approaching perfect vision
and it is time to forget your doubts.

We are not asking you to forget or deny the past
for everything you went through serves a purpose.
The world is awaiting your transformation,
for humanity cannot learn to shed its prison
until you've made a demonstration.

Your true path is calling you.
Will you be brave enough to heed it?
Your transformation is upon you.
Will you be open enough to receive it?

Your past has tried to convince you
that you must be the Devil's spawn.
But you're understanding now,
that you are nobody's pawn.
You have, at long last, made it
to the other side of the board
and received your queen,
for that was always who you were.

Your true path is calling you.
Will you be brave enough to heed it?
Your transformation is upon you.
Will you be open enough to receive it?

Take a moment.
Sit still, dig deep.
You are on the precipice of transformation
and it is time to take a leap.

Take a moment.
Breathe in, breathe out.
You are approaching perfect vision
and it is time to forget your doubts.

My Dear Child

My dear child, I am here for you.
My dear child, you've been so brave,
but its time to let your grief out.
It is safe now.
You can let it all out now.

My dear child, I assure you,
there is so much strength in you,
even through your tears.

My dear child, I am here for you.
My dear child, you've been incredibly courageous,
but it's time to let your rage out.
It is safe now.
You can let it all out now.

My dear child, don't doubt your power;
it is coursing through your veins.
My dear child, stop casting your doubts
into your dreams;
you are here to be free.

My dearest child,
you know deep down just who you are;
hold fast to your visions
and follow your heart.
Our love has been with you
right from the start.

An End to Unending Grief

This poem is a kind of letter to my inner child.

There seems nothing to do
but sit with you
as you grieve an unending grief.

My words, I know, would offer little comfort.
My words would make but a feeble salve
for a wound so grave;
they'd fail to staunch the bleeding.
But I hope the love I pour into you
and your willful, stubborn wound
would dull the sharpness of your pain.

There seems nothing to do
but sit with you
as you grieve an unending grief.

My words, though I try,
cannot make a reliable tourniquet
for this kind of wound.
My words, though clever, would merely
suppress and repress your tears,
and those surely, must be expressed.
But I hope the silence I hold for you
wraps gently 'round your wound.
I hope the hugs I offer you
fill the chill I know you feel
with unceasing warmth.

There seems nothing to do
but sit with you
as you grieve an unending grief.

Please forgive me my occasional impatience.
Please forgive me my desire to turn away.
I can't help but find it hard
to look at you,
to look at me,
with all my scars.
But I am learning. I am growing. I am strengthening.
I am becoming strong enough
and brave enough
to carry you with all your history. 

I shall carry you and your history
with the gentleness,
with the tenderness you never knew.
I shall hold you and your history
close to my beating heart
until you learn what comfort is.
I shall carry you and your history
until you're ready to trust the ground beneath us,
to trust our legs beneath us.

One day, I hope you'll open your tear filled eyes
and see that the dawn has already arrived.
One day I hope you'll see
that there is, indeed, an end to this unending grief.
But I promise to love you,
to embrace you,
to carry you
until that day arrives.