The Heaven Found in Forgiveness

 As I sit upon my chair,
swaying to the music in my ear,
I feel immersed, totally immersed
in the loving light of God.

He seems to be dissolving
the reality of my body,
showing me the light within.
Reminding me that I have
a larger existence than
that of my slender figure.
Reminding me that this soul
I'm beginning to see
has always been safe
even when my human form
experienced torment and torture.

I feel God living inside me
in this moment,
showing me how it can be easy
to forgive this being
for being my source of trauma.
For He is showing me the depth
of my biological father's
pain and suffering.
He is showing me
the darkness that
has resided in his soul
due to his own torments.

And with the flaming torch
of God's grace, and love, and light
now within me,
I offer a true heartfelt hug to my father
and sense that in this moment
of divine grace and divine forgiveness,
this being begins to heal the darkness
within himself
for the love and light of God
that I carry
is driving out the midnight
in his soul.
And I,
in this moment,
have freed myself from the bondage
of pain and suffering,
and freed myself from the belief
that I had to have been deeply
and innately flawed
for this trauma to have occurred.
The flaws I perceived in myself
were simply a fiction devised by the ego;
it was in fact,
the depth of despair
within this other being
that caused me to suffer.

Knowing this through and through,
knowing this in my heart and soul,
and seeing this bright light
burning within me,
I take the time to forgive all
others, including myself,
for each and every
major and minor transgression.

I forgive myself for withholding
love, compassion, and patience
from myself on this journey.
I forgive the messes I created
when I felt trapped in fear and anxiety
or mired in my misery.
And I take this time
to acknowledge that others
have also made mistakes and
created messes
for the very same reasons as I
and that they should therefore
be readily forgiven.