You may have noticed that I am struggling to write these days...at least in the creative way I usually do. The reason for that has to do with the things I expressed on the 25th of April. All the suppressed rage has been coming to the surface for healing and I believe that when I have sufficiently released it I will be able to write creatively again. Lately, I haven't been able to reach a true meditative state and when I attempt to, I just feel really quite melancholy. To get some mindful healing work done today, I went to Great Falls and hiked barefoot through the woods to reach it with the mantra "I release the anger and the barriers to its expression." When I walked over parts of the river on my way to the overlook, I imagined the water surging through my energy, cleansing it of all the release work. Despite all this and the fact the I ran much of the 1.8+ miles to my car, there is still a tremendous amount of anger left in the well and the resistance is still present. But I am working as steadily as possible on this and hope to reach a breakthrough soon....even if it entails a crazy breakdown first.
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