I realize it's been nearly a week since my last blog, but nothing noteworthy has happened or been done in those days and I felt there was nothing to write about. (By the way, I know someone is cringing and thinking I should have written that "there was nothing about which to write", but since I fail to remember that rule while talking I figured it was more honest to write the way I speak.)
I am just now noticing that my obsessive need for validation extends to this blog. I have already recognized how frequently I feel the need to explain my choices or my circumstances to my boss, my professor or my friends and now I see it happening here. Lately, I've been trying to meditate on my fears and trying to find a way to make sure they don't keep affecting my behavior. My fears are extreme and my will to suppress them is extreme which makes for a perfect recipe for a nervous breakdown if I don't deal with it in some way. They've lessened for now and hopefully I will feel that I can trust myself through all the events to come.
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