As an aspiring writer, I want to write up a blog post or two about some of the negative circumstances that have occurred in my life and some of the negative choices I've made as well. I want to be able to wear my heart on my sleeve and until I can do that in person with everyone of my friends and family, I think writing it out here will be perfect. Some of my friends and my immediate family knows about the things I plan to express, but I've kept many people in the dark about the most notorious torments in my life. What I share will consist of things I don't like about myself (my shadow) and a dark secret that, for a long while managed to haunt me without my conscious awareness of it. I was told about it in January of 2010, my senior year of high school but I'm going to hold this part off for a while.
Some of you might realize that some of the things on this list were mentioned in a previous post, but since my intention has changed, I feel they can be written again.
1.) I want to feel needed.
2.) I seem to want constant validation.
3.) I can unknowingly act egocentric.
4.) I don't trust myself with transitions.
5.) Sometimes I can act pretentious.
6.) I worry too much.
7.) I'm terrified of failure.
8.) I have trouble following through a lot of times.
9.) There are times when I act vain.
10.) I have intentionally hurt 2 people and one of them was my sister.
11.) I am often a lazy perfectionist.
12.) I am easily distracted.
13.) I have a fear of getting in my own way.
14.) I can be overly critical of others.
15.) I get easily stressed out.
Tomorrow I'll write the good things and then the day after I'll post a few poems about things that practically took place in another lifetime. You'll know what I mean when you read the post.
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