Not Expecting a Better Outcome Than Farewell

    I love you too much to let you stay. I wanted you to choose yourself over my

dysfunctional roller-coaster. I made sure to share both where I am beginning to

grow and the uncomfortable, convoluted complexities of this disorderly brain.

Please know that I didn't (and still don't) want you to hold space for my

dysfunctional drama anymore. Please know that I love you so much that I am, and

have been, willing to let you go. My last few links were chosen with purpose. I wish I

could have found the words to express my struggles sooner...to discover the other

root cause sooner. If I had, I would have told you all of this immediately and then

stayed miles away.

I love you so much that I truly wanted you to walk away. Learning that self-hatred

could hurt someone other than me has helped me in unexpected ways.

But I wish I hadn't needed to learn that the hard way. I'm so glad you chose to get

off the roller-coaster regardless of the heartbreak. 


I tried so hard to express the true nature of my mental health, but nothing I said
helped it to click inside someone else's head...not until now.