What If I Lost Nothing

What if I had actually
gained more than I lost?
What if that which I gained
was truly worth
so much more
than that which I lost?

I may have thought that I had lost my innocence.
I may have believed that I had lost my ability to love.
It may have seemed that I'd always choose to be alone.
But I've since learned that none of these are true.

I may have thought myself
the eternally unwanted cast-away.
I may have believed that I could never belong.
It may have seemed as though
no one would choose to love me.
But I have since learned that none of these are true.

I may have missed
so many firsts.
I may have misplaced
my sense of self
and my sense of worth.
I may have viewed myself
less than human.
I may have thought myself
one who wasn't worth
standing up for or protecting.
Yet there is hope.
Because aside from the missed experiences,
none of the rest will have
a permanent residence
in my mind.

Much of what I had thought lost,
has only briefly been misplaced.
And when you consider
what I have since gained,
the loss was worth it.

For I have a deeper knowledge of healing.
I have a deeper understanding
of one's emotional needs.
I know how to find myself again.
I know how to overcome most anything.
I know how to unlearn powerlessness.
And when I finally learn
to love myself unconditionally,
I'll know the way to full transformation.

But the most essential thing I've gained
is the knowledge that
nothing I feared gone had left me;
it was simply waiting to be found again;
the only thing I ever lost was my way.
And once I've regained my path,
I'll always know my way back,
and I'll remember that nothing was ever lost.