I thought it would be easier to write during therapy, but it hasn't been. All the things that I am trying to overcome are coming to the surface to deal with and I haven't yet been able to get into a meditative state that would ease the tension in my mind. It's been a never ending merry-go-round of depressive, intrusive thoughts surrounding my early childhood experiences. As I read in an article recently, what's going on in therapy at that moment is that I 'm "actively opening up old wounds in an effort to reframe my experiences." Now that my work load has lessened, I find myself going back to binge-watching shows and trying to pull all my hair out again. (Still not sure what part of my history caused the hair pulling habit, but I might be able to find out through the EMDR.) I guess I just don't know what else to do to escape my mind. Other people use a drug addiction to escape and I seem to choose a screen addiction. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going on walks outside everyday, with and without the pets I walk, but I spend the whole walk thinking in circles. There hasn't been any real relaxing going on when I try to relax.
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