Last night was dose 6 of Lexapro and I'm still waking at 2 a.m. and staying awake from then on. My intuition is telling me to wait it out, but I'm not sure how much longer I can function like this. I still have work on a daily basis; weekends are not going to be a thing for the next two weeks. There will be days with less work, but none completely free to recuperate. It's possible to take it in the morning, but it definitely makes me too drowsy to drive for the first few hours after taking it. I'm dreaming of a day in which my life isn't so Goddamn hard anymore. Sleep is hard, and less sleep means more things will stress me out and trigger me. Accepting the fact that knowing the source of my mental illnesses is trauma doesn't change the fact that I need medication is hard. I always wanted to believe that my self-awareness of the situation would negate a need for medication, but clearly that isn't the case. It took me a whole year to start trying medications for ADD, depression, and anxiety BECAUSE of the exact problem I'm facing now. I already HAVE insomnia and the medicines they recommend for my mental health issues keep causing worsening insomnia. It's infuriating. The main reason I keep taking Lexapro is because the side-effects I have had are supposed to be short lived and the painful ones were. We shall see.
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