There is still a part of my consciousness that says, "yes, I may have survived, but at what cost?" I have spent a fair portion of my life not wanting to be here. My challenges seem to be never ending; my inability to handle small mishaps continues to be a source of embarrassment. And not to mention, the grief can be hard to cope with and yet it continues to be a constant companion...like a toddler clinging to my leg while I'm trying to walk...all day, every day. I'm hopeful that my experiences with EMDR will help me figure out how to move forward because clearly my meditative writing practice hasn't been able to help me in that way. Despite what others may think, my inability to move past this is not a choice. This is the result of unprocessed trauma. Scientists have proven that trauma causes visible brain damage meaning that PTSD is not just a mental illness, it is a physical injury to the brain. This is why my trauma has made almost every facet of my life challenging.
No comments:
Post a Comment