A thought that came to me last night is that I've been trying to build a life for myself AND rebuild/repair the broken foundation of my childhood. Our childhood experiences are very foundational and profoundly affect how we view the world and thus invariably affects how we interact with the world. As I mentioned in another post, my trauma has been writing chapters. And since most of it has remained unprocessed, it has created an even greater divide between me and those without trauma (or maybe I should say with less trauma). But I am working on changing this. And I am beginning to have more patience with myself and more self-compassion. It is HARD to be building both your life in the present and to rebuild/repair a faulty foundation.
You have always done the best that you can
under your extreme circumstances.
Would you expect any stranger
to do much better
had they had a childhood like yours?
Your circumstances were extreme,
and you had to endure them at a very early age.
That is a formidable combination to survive.
Be gentle with yourself as you work through
all the ways this has affected you.
Extreme events cause extreme psychological reactions,
so do not condemn yourself for these idiosyncrasies.
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